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Nail-biting, procrastination and avoidance are often framed as bad habits we can’t control, but a new psychology book argues that they’re more like survival strategies that may have once protected us.
In “Controlled Explosions in Mental Health,” clinical psychologist Dr. Charlie Heroot-Maitland examined why people stick with bad habits that seem to work against their own best interest.
Drawing on years of clinical research and therapeutic practice, the expert reveals how the brain prioritizes predictability and safety over comfort and happiness.
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“Our brain is a survival machine,” he told Digital. “It is programmed not to optimize our happiness and well-being, but to keep us alive.”
For much of human history, being caught off-guard could be fatal, research shows. “The brain prefers predictable pain over unpredictable threat,” Heriot-Maitland said. “It does not like surprises.”
Experts say the brain prioritizes predictability and safety over happiness, preferring controlled, familiar discomfort to unpredictable risk. (iStock)
When faced with uncertainty, the brain may opt for smaller, self-sabotaging behaviors rather than risking larger, unpredictable ones.
The book argues that “the brain uses these small harms as a protective dose to prevent further harms.” Procrastination, for example, may create stress and frustration, but it can also delay exposure to the higher-stakes fear of failure or judgment.
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“The central argument is that behaviors we label as ‘self‑sabotaging’ could actually be attempts by the brain to control discomfort,” Thea Gallagher, a psychologist and wellness programs director at NYU Langone Health, told Digital.
In modern life, threats are often more emotional than physical. Rejection, shame, anxiety and loss of control can activate the same survival systems as a physical threat, experts say.
What looks like self-sabotage is often a way to delay or soften exposure to feared outcomes such as failure, judgment or rejection, an expert said. (iStock)
“Our brains have evolved to favor perceiving threat, even when there isn’t one, in order to elicit a protective response in us,” Heriot-Maitland said.
Self-criticism, avoidance and actions like nail-biting can function as attempts to manage the “dangers.”
Potential limitations
Gallagher noted that the book leans on clinical insight rather than empirical research.
“That doesn’t make it wrong, but it means the claims are more interpretive than scientific,” she said, noting that more data is needed to determine what is happening on a “mechanistic level.”
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Gallagher also emphasized that external factors, such as ADHD, trauma, chronic stress or socioeconomic pressures, can shape these behaviors in ways that aren’t just about threat responses.
Long-term improvement comes from building safety, observing patterns with curiosity, and gradually tolerating uncertainty rather than fighting or appeasing the behavior, an expert advised. (iStock)
Rather than seeing patterns like procrastination as flaws, the book encourages people to understand their protective function. That said, people should seek professional support for destructive behaviors that could cause severe distress or self-harm.
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“I encourage my patients to think about short-term pain for long-term gain, because if you just respond to discomfort and distress in the moment, you might find yourself in longer-term patterns you don’t like or want,” Gallagher said.
“I don’t think it explains the motivations for all people, as everyone is different, but I think it can certainly apply to some.”
“Our brain is a survival machine.”
Heriot-Maitland noted that everyone has a choice in how they handle their own potentially harmful habits.
“We don’t want to fight these behaviors, but nor do we want to appease them and let them carry on controlling, dictating and sabotaging our lives,” he said.
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Gallagher shared the following practical tips for people who may notice these patterns.
No. 1: Shift from self‑judgment to self-compassion
Instead of asking yourself “Why am I like this?” try focusing on the function of the behavior, she advised. For example, does it serve to soothe, numb or distract from other fears or threats?
Understanding the protective function of “bad” behaviors can reduce shame and open the door to more effective change, without excusing harm. (iStock)
No. 2: Notice patterns without fighting them (initially)
“Observing the behavior with curiosity helps weaken the automatic threat response,” Gallagher said.
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No. 3: Build a sense of safety
This can mean relying on grounding techniques, supportive relationships, predictable routines and self‑soothing practices.
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No. 4: Practice small, low‑stakes exposure to feared situations
“If the brain fears uncertainty, gently introducing controlled uncertainty can help retrain it,” the expert recommended.
