Kristin Cavallari has some tips for people who might be going through a divorce.
“It is one of the scariest things you can go through, and depending on your situation, it can really bring out the worst in people,” Cavallari, 39, said during the Tuesday, March 10, episode of her “Let’s Be Honest” podcast. “It’s incredibly unfortunate, but it’s just the harsh reality. You will see the absolute worst. You will see a side of your soon-to-be ex-spouse that you didn’t even think was possible. Hopefully not, every situation is different.”
Cavallari reflected on her own two-and-a-half-year divorce from ex-husband Jay Cutler.
“That was an extremely stressful time in my life,” she continued. “I think the unknown is really scary, and the power plays with attorneys. It can be so shady and it can be just so stressful.”
Cavallari and Cutler, 42, were married for nearly seven years before announcing their decision to separate in 2020. Their divorce was finalized in 2022. The former couple share kids Camden, 13, Jaxon, 11, and Saylor, 10.
Keep scrolling for Cavallari’s divorce tips:
Prepare for an Adjustment Period
Cavallari explained that it’s “so hard” to go “no contact” with someone when there’s a divorce involved.
“There’s a period where it still takes for you to grieve that relationship and heal and move on from it. That doesn’t happen overnight,” she said. “Even if you don’t love that person anymore, there’s a time period of just adjusting to life and getting used to life without that person now in your day-to-day world.”
Your 1st Move
The former reality star said “consult an attorney” even before revealing plans to separate. She also suggested gathering as much information as possible.
“You need to know everything that you guys have together, your finances, your assets. You need to know about debts,” Cavallari explained. “You need to have a really good understanding of your financial situation and what you guys own together, and what’s going to be on the table during this divorce.”
Cut Off Your Shared Digital Footprint
Cavallari said to “change all of your passwords” and “turn off your location,” no matter if things are messy or not.
“I would try to keep everything really as private as possible,” she said.
Kids Are the Only Priority
“Once you become a mom — I don’t care what anyone’s situation is — you have to do what’s best for the kids,” she said. “During a divorce, the kids, I can promise you as someone who’s been through a divorce who has three kids who were somewhat old enough to kind of remember things and understand, they remember. They remember the big things.”
Cavallari told listeners they should not “go on a rampage of trashing your ex,” especially in front of the children.
“I think it’s OK to defend yourself without trashing the other parent,” she added. “I never think you should start it, but I think if they’re starting it, I do think you should defend yourself.”
Document Everything
Cavallari noted that this suggestion is really for anyone who is dealing with a situation that is not amicable.
“If there’s any sort of foul play going on, I would recommend you document everything, and that means screenshotting text messages, putting them in a file in your phone,” she said. “Create an album so that it’s easy access.”
Cavallari anticipated the estranged partner wanting to know certain things — she said to give “as little information as possible.”
Focus on Self-Care
That being said, having “an outlet” to discuss the hardships is important and Cavallari reminded listeners to take care of themselves.
“This is going to be one of the most stressful things you’ll ever go through. It’s so hard on your body,” Cavallari added. “That emotion is so hard on your body, stress is hard on your body.”
