‘The Phantom of After Midnight’ Won Late Night This Week

First and foremost, this column wants to wish a speedy recovery to Jimmy Kimmel Live! sidekick Guillermo Rodriguez, who broke his foot and showed up on our TVs (or YouTube feeds; whatever) on Monday night in a cast. The Met Gala and the Tony Awards should consider postponing, because there’s no point doing a red carpet if Guillermo isn’t there feeding people tequila shots, okay?

Secondly, I want to shout out John Lutz for his most recent “Product Tester” sketch on Late Night With Seth Meyers. Nothing better encapsulates the job of the critic. You overconsume a thing, in this case pour-over coffeemakers, to the point of disgust — to the point you couldn’t possibly have opinions about whether any particular iteration is good or bad. But of course you do have opinions, and you have favorites, and if those favorites are taken away from you, then you lose your shit. Or your “sugar,” if you’re trying not to offend the censors. So here are the best pour-over coffeemakers this week, metaphorically speaking.

Sponsored segments have to really deliver to make it onto this column, and these dogs representing horses and running through 30 Rock passed muster. All week, Jimmy Fallon has been bringing on golden-retriever puppies who stand in for different race horses at the Kentucky Derby. If you guess which horses are in what place at the Derby, you win cars, I think? I was distracted by how cute and food-motivated the dogs were. It all culminated in Thursday night’s show, when ten doggies ran across the stage that previously hosted such luminaries as Ariana Grande and Jungkook. I’m putting all my money on Sandman!

Look, when prop comedy works, it works. Jon Stewart starting Monday’s Daily Show in a long, Rip Van Winkle–ass beard was the correct way to illustrate how much these first hundred days of Trump 2.0 have aged us all. Week after week, Stewart is killing it in the Trump-reaction game. Is it because he didn’t have to do this the first time? Yeah, probably. Or maybe it’s because whatever is being killed in other hosts now died in Stewart during Bush’s second term. Either way, he’s the most palliative host in the political-commentary game. Thanks, old man.

John Mulaney continues to spit in the face of God (Ted Sarandos) on Everybody’s Live With John Mulaney. In the same episode he promised to fight three teen boys, Mulaney also wasted some time dressing up the band Phish as the cast of Seinfeld. It kind of died in the room (audiences at Everybody’s Live are primarily made of fans of the musical guest. Maybe John Cale fans are stingy with the laffs?), but I was laughing out loud at home. Why does Mike Gordon/George’s forehead look like that? Why doesn’t Trey Anastasio have a wig? Did Fishman do his brows for this? And the BTS footage had the uncanny unpleasantness of that supercut of every establishing shot on Seinfeld. Incredible stuff.

There’s nothing like trying to serve masc while in a leather miniskirt. We’ve all been there. Cole Escola gave it their all on The Late Show With Stephen Colbert, picking the perfect phrases for a straight dude to say. It’s so true — they really do be wrecking their shoulders! Cole has the range and keen observational skills to succeed. When they said “Enunciation is gay,” it was revelatory. Get them an under-five as an unsupportive boyfriend on a medical procedural, stat. Colbert’s straight-guy impression is pretty good too.

Finally, an explanation for why Pete Holmes is always on After Midnight. Chris Fleming did another one of his little plays this week, only this time it wasn’t so little. The Phantom of After Midnight had lighting effects, stage hands, a musical interlude, and Taylor Tomlinson auto-tuned. It also had so many wonderful little Fleming-y details, like playing a game where you try to figure out if a sound is a cat in heat or isolated Karen O vocals. But the standout performance came from Tim Baltz, who was something of a romantic foil to Fleming, giving him much needed 69-CPR and saving his life. A tremendous culmination of one of my favorite bits in late night. Bravo! Bravissimo! Encore!