Sheinelle Jones is recalling the invaluable life lesson she learned after a memorable incident with her then-newborn daughter Clara while walking down the stairs of her home.
“I’m sure my thoughts were absolutely everywhere except on where I was — namely, on uncarpeted stairs, in slippery socks, with my healthy brand-new baby in my arms. All of a sudden, I slipped. BOOMBOOMBOOM down the stairs I went, bottom (thankfully!) first,” Jones, 47, wrote in Through Mom’s Eyes, which hit shelves on Tuesday, April 14. “Instinctively, I tucked Clara into my torso as tightly as I could, and I landed, hitting the edge of that last step REALLY hard.”
Jones recalled squeezing her “eyes shut on impact,” while being “terrified” of what might happen when she opened them and saw her daughter. (Jones and late husband Uche Ojeh shared son Kayin, 16, and twins Clara and Uche, 13.)
“I’d managed to keep my baby girl cradled in my arms, but had I held her too tightly, causing pain while trying to spare her? Would her face be contorted into one of those awful soundless screams while her tiny fists lashed about in outrage at my carelessness? Would she recognize the shame in my eyes and know that, today, her mom had been more lucky than good?” she wondered. “My heart sank at the thought.”
However, when Jones looked at her daughter, she was met with “trusting” eyes.
“Unharmed and oblivious to my horror and physical pain, she offered me a toothless grin, as if to say what we mothers say to reassure our little ones all the time after they’ve survived a scrape: ‘It’s OK. OK okay. You’re fine.’ Clara was, but was I?” she said.
Jones sat there “for a second,” in shock. “Shame and gratitude washed over me, as I quickly processed how tragic our tumble could have been. I said a prayer in that moment, through tears, realizing it was time for me to slow down,” she wrote.
After the incident, Jones noted that nothing else she had been thinking about while walking down the steps “mattered.” It ultimately shifted her mindset, noting that she became “intent on staying present.”
“It was a wake-up call about what’s important,” she wrote. “The huge bruise left on my backside took a while to fade, but it served as a reminder to be mindful of even basic things, like how I move.”
In Jones’ book, which features lessons from several moms of public figures that she gathered over the course of seven years, she also detailed feeling “mom-guilt” while balancing motherhood and work.
“If you are raising kids, you’re probably very familiar with this particular brand of stress. I don’t believe any of us are immune,” she wrote. “Working moms worry that their splintered time may somehow hinder their children. Stay-at-home moms worry that their constant availability could do the same thing. And, no, I don’t mean you feel guilty all the time, just that you have inevitable moments when that sinking feeling kicks in and makes you question your instincts, your priorities, yourself.”
Jones ultimately called a friend who traveled for work, who advised her to not “make a big deal” out of work trips.
“It wasn’t easy to hear or believe,” Jones recalled. “But, sure enough, she was right, and now I race to tell friends with younger kids the same thing. In fact, earlier this week a colleague was confessing how guilty she felt about an upcoming trip.”
She continued, “‘Stop the guilt!’ I told her. ‘They’re gonna enjoy being with Grandpa, and when they see it’s no big deal for you, they won’t be as anxious either.’ I have now officially become the sage ‘older mom’ I once needed.”
Through Mom’s Eyes is out now.
