It’s all a learning process for Samantha Busch.
The wife of late Kyle Busch, who shockingly died at 41 in May, shared some personal reflection following a trip to Idaho for the Fourth of July with her two children.
In a heartfelt Instagram post, Busch deemed the holiday weekend trip “exactly what we needed” for her and her family. Yet, she mentioned the struggles of navigating grief while creating new memories with son Brexton, 11, and daughter Lennix, 4.
The widow has come to realize that “heartbreak and joy no longer exist separately.”
In the carosel of photos, Busch and her children pictured fishing, horseback riding and spending time together outdoors. In several of those moments, she admitted she thought “Kyle would have loved this” and “I wish he were here to see this.”
“There were so many moments on this trip when I found myself genuinely smiling as I watched the kids fish, swim, explore, and simply be kids in the middle of God’s beautiful creation,” Busch wrote. “But behind every smile was the same thought.
“I’m learning that two things can be true at the same time. You can thank God for the beauty and joy in front of you while still asking Him why you have to walk through this. You can be cheering your kids on while at the very same time your heart is quietly shattering because someone who should be standing beside you isn’t.”
In the months since Kyle’s passing, Samantha has been transparent about her grief and how her family has processed the heavy loss.
Busch previously shared signs she thought to be sent from heaven, her promise to her late husband regarding their children and her daughter’s morning routine with Kyle.
After her trip, the 40-year-old admitted she “can’t stop thinking that we should be making these memories with you, not learning how to make them without you.”
“Heartbreak and joy no longer exist separately. They simply live side by side in every moment,” she concluded in her post.
Samantha and Kyle tied the knot on Dec. 21, 2010.
The NASCAR star died hours after being hospitalized with what his family deemed a serious illness at the time. It came after Kyle became unresponsive following a test in a Chevrolet racing simulator in Concord, NC.
It was later revealed that he had pneumonia that progressed into sepsis.
