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From the moment you get that knock on the door to the moment you’re handed a folded American flag, Gold Star families face a lifetime shaped by loss. Last week we observed Gold Star Spouses Day on April 5. April is also the Month of the Military Child. I invite you to reflect on the sacrifices of our military families, especially those whose loved one paid the ultimate sacrifice.
Losing a loved one in service to our country hits differently. These families are asked to carry on with strength and dignity, embodying the very ideals their loved ones fought to defend. It’s often called an honor no one wants.
I recently had the privilege of meeting with members of the Gold Star Wives of America in my Washington, D.C., office. Their resilience, grace and determination to advocate for military families left a lasting impression. Their stories are powerful reminders of the human cost of service.
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The sacrifice of our military families can’t be overstated. Every lost servicemember comes with ripple effects—lives disrupted, futures derailed, and families left with only memories and a folded flag.
As the father of a beautiful little girl, I can’t imagine the pain of losing a child. One Gold Star mother recently told my office about losing her son in 2010 to an IED in Afghanistan. She said, “Increasing the death benefit will help new Gold Star Families in many ways.” For her, this initial bridge payment helped cover travel expenses for family members who wanted to pay their respects; for others, it helped cover funeral costs or other bills left unpaid.
The sacrifice of our military families can’t be overstated. Every lost servicemember comes with ripple effects—lives disrupted, futures derailed, and families left with only memories and a folded flag.
Grief doesn’t end after the funeral. Families have to come to grips with the fact that their loved one will never have another birthday or celebrate another Christmas. Spouses will mourn anniversaries and have to decide when or if to stop wearing a wedding ring.
Gold Star children will have to live with disappointment for the rest of their lives, facing the reality of walking down the aisle without a father or picking out a wedding dress without a mother. These are all the tragic possibilities that every service member knows they are risking when they sign up to serve and the realities far too many have to face.
A girl reacts in front of a headstone during Memorial Day as visitors honor veterans and those lost in war at Arlington National Cemetery, Virginia, U.S., May 31, 2021. (Reuters)
Beyond emotional hardship, there are practical concerns too. Young spouses often put their own careers on hold to support their military husband or wife. When the worst happens, they now need to figure out how to financially support themselves and their children and all while navigating extreme grief.
The reality these families face underscores a critical question: Why haven’t survivor benefits kept pace with modern needs? The initial payment families receive upon the death of their loved one has not been updated in over 20 years. Other benefits, including social security, military retirement, and federal salaries, have been adjusted for inflation, but not “death gratuity” payments for our military families. It’s time to correct this wrong.
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That’s why I introduced the bipartisan Honoring Our Nation’s Obligation to Remember (HONOR) Gold Star Families Act. This legislation would increase the military death gratuity—often called the bridge payment—from $100,000 to $200,000 for the families of fallen servicemembers.
The bill also adds a cost-of-living adjustment so that future payments automatically rise with inflation, helping ensure continued support for Gold Star families over time. This legislation was co-led by Armed Services Committee members Jen Kiggans, R-Va., and Jill Tokuda, D-Hawaii. It was also endorsed by the American Gold Star Mothers, the Gold Star Wives of America, Military-Veterans Advocacy and the National Guard Association of the United States (NGAUS).
Recent losses remind us that this burden is ongoing. Take the recent conflict with Iran, where 13 servicemembers have lost their lives. One of those soldiers was Capt. Cody Khork, a 35-year-old man who, according to his family, was deeply patriotic and was defined by “love of country.”
Another servicemember who lost her life was Sgt. 1st Class Nicole Amor. She is survived by a son in his senior year of high school and a daughter in fourth grade. Chief Warrant Officer 3 Robert Marzan was also killed in the conflict.
His niece wrote on Facebook. “You’re our Hero with a servant’s heart, you lead with love and bravery, you gave the ultimate sacrifice for our country, an honorable soldier, and I believe God welcomed you Home with open arms saying, ‘Well done, my son, well done.’”
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The loss and heartache these families are experiencing right now cannot be quantified, but we can keep them in our prayers as they grieve, and we can support them in a meaningful way.
That’s why I made the HONOR Gold Star Families Act retroactive. My bill will apply to all families who have lost a loved one in Operation Epic Fury regardless of when my bill is signed into law.
Our Gold Star moms, dads, children, spouses, and siblings have given so much for our nation. It’s time we give back to them—and this bill is just one way to do that.
