When Josh Whalen‘s once athletic, rugby-playing physique morphed into a heftier “dad bod,” he figured it was just the reality of getting older.
That’s how he dismissed other symptoms, too. His sex drive plummeted and he felt super tired — but working as a entrepreneur in his mid-30s, he attributed his problems to the mounting pressures of work and parenting two kids. And he wasn’t motivated to do anything about it.
“I was content with my lifestyle. I was content with being a lot chunkier,” Whalen told The Post. “I was content not working out. I never attributed it to something physical going on in my body.”
It took a firm nudge from his wife for him to find what was wrong: “My wife Katie sat me down and said, ‘If you don’t change, I’m out,’” he recalled.
Symptoms creeping up
Most people gain weight in their 30s as their metabolism slows — it’s so common, in fact, that it’s been called the “middle-aged spread.” But for Whalen, it wasn’t just a few pounds.
“I was about 55 pounds heavier than I am now and hadn’t seen the inside of a gym in a long time,” he said.
As his weight continued to climb, he battled fatigue and his libido tanked — and that put a strain on his marriage.
“Katie took it personally. She thought it was her. She was like, ‘Do you not find me attractive?’ I had no idea what the hell was going on,” he said. “I didn’t feel comfortable, but I didn’t have the motivation or the energy to even try to change it.”
In the wake of Katie’s divorce ultimatum, Whalen sought out primary care doctors, internists, sex therapists and a marriage counselor, all of whom assured him that what he was experiencing was a normal part of aging.
“That was my definition of being gaslit. I was like, if this is normal, I don’t want to feel normal, and if this is normal, what the f–k is good? Nobody ever suggested that I get my hormones checked,” he said.
The truth behind the changes
As a “Hail Mary” to save his relationship, Whalen visited an “optimization guru” who ran his blood panels.
“He knew more about me through my blood and my history and my symptomology than anybody else. He said, ‘You got low T, man.’”
T, short for testosterone, is a crucial hormone responsible for energy levels, libido, muscle mass, and bone density.
After age 30, testosterone levels naturally and gradually decline in men by about 1% per year, a process known as andropause, AKA “male menopause” or “manopause.”
But in some cases, it takes a steeper dip, leading to testosterone deficiency — which affects 30-40% of men by the time they hit their 40s or 50s. Levels can drop more quickly in men with chronic illnesses or certain health conditions, especially obesity.
“As kids, we are told to tough it out and get through it. I think we need to redefine masculinity to mean being open and honest.”
Josh Whalen
The normal range for testosterone is considered to be anywhere between 300 and 1,000 nanograms per deciliter, with low T or testosterone deficiency defined as anything below 300 ng/dL.
Blood tests revealed that Whalen’s testosterone levels were in the low 200s and consistent with those of a man in his 70s.
“I had all the symptoms, didn’t have sex, gained a bunch of weight, no motivation, no energy. He put me on testosterone replacement therapy, and I credit it with saving my marriage,” he said.
Testosterone replacement therapy, or TRT, works by replenishing testosterone that the body is not producing naturally.
Whalen previously believed that TRT was solely used to treat erectile dysfunction.
“I thought it was something that was for older men. Not a guy in his 30s, not a former athlete. And then I’m sitting here with every symptom,” he said.
Could you have low testosterone?
According to one expert, those symptoms include Whalen’s aforementioned dad bod.
“A dad body could be a sign of low testosterone,” urologist Dr. Bobby Najari at NYU Langone Health told The Post. “The more fat tissue you have, the more likely you are to have low testosterone, as fat tissue has the enzyme aromatase, which converts testosterone into estrogen.”
Still, sexual health is its greatest predictor.
“The most specific symptoms for low testosterone would be sexual symptoms, like a decrease in your sex drive, erectile dysfunction and difficulty reaching orgasm,” said Najari — though he added that fatigue and mood changes can also be red flags and are worthy of evaluation.
Treating low T
Since obesity is a significant risk factor, Najari often recommends that patients address their weight before trying other treatments.
“Maybe they don’t necessarily need to take testosterone once their metabolic profile has improved,” he said.
If there are still problems, they may consider TRT. Najari notes that men with mildly low levels may not want to be bothered taking treatment for the rest of their lives — but those with severely low levels risk serious problems, including thinning bones.
Still, there are side effects to consider. TRT shuts down testosterone production in the testicles and can also negatively affect fertility.
For men who want more children, Najari recommends other medications like ornithine citrate, anastrozole, and Human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG).
TRT to the rescue
For Whalen, the effects of TRT were life-altering.
“It took two months before I started to really feel something, and then I went from zero to hero,” he said.
“I was motivated and in the gym more. I was sleeping better. My brain fog lifted. I went from not having morning erections to having a morning erection every morning,” he said. “I felt like a new man, and I was a new man.”
His experience is echoed by others. In a 2025 survey of men treated with TRT, 65% reported more energy, 54% felt more focused or confident, 49% said their mental well-being improved, and three in four said healthy hormone levels made them more patient and engaged with their kids and partners.
Despite numbers like those, Whalen believes that childhood conditioning prevents men from honestly assessing themselves and seeking care when needed.
“As kids, we are told to tough it out and get through it. I think we need to redefine masculinity to mean being open and honest. I was burying it, and I think most men are in the same boat,” he said.
Whalen says his testosterone levels now fluctuate between 900 and 1100 nanograms per deciliter, levels he maintains and tracks with biweekly subcutaneous injections and quarterly blood tests.
Testosterone has given him the motivation and momentum to prioritize exercise, sleep and healthy eating.
“It basically gave me a cheat code to live a better life,” he said.
Whalen believes that while timelines and intensity may differ, the effects of andropause are inevitable.
“The bigger decision between that person and their clinician is whether they should consider testosterone replacement,” he said.
Inspired by his experience with TRT, Whalen and his wife founded the telemedicine company Joi + Blokes. The company’s mission is to help both men and women get their hormone levels tested, connect with specialized clinicians and access treatment.
“Many of our clients have had sex in six months or a year, and their marriages are saved by checking and then treating their hormones. So many women are like, I couldn’t stand the way my husband was breathing and then I got on testosterone, and I actually like the guy now,” he said.
“Hormones save marriages,” Whalen added, counting his own relationship among the salvaged.
