Dax Shepard is ready to open up about his childhood sexual abuse in a new memoir.
Shepard, 51, revealed that he’s writing a memoir during the Monday, March 2, episode of his “Armchair Expert” podcast. While he plans to discuss being molested as a child in the book, the Parenthood actor admitted that he struggled for several months to put the story on paper.
“I have, for years on here, been acknowledging that I have been molested. And that was its own hurdle to just say that. And I got quite comfortable being able to say that. That was fine. And now I’m writing a memoir. And last year, really, the whole year was about, ‘Do I have the balls to write down the details of this?’” Shepard told guest Marcus Mumford, who detailed his own experience with childhood sexual abuse on his 2022 single “Cannibal.”
Shepard continued, “The details were always going to be mine. I didn’t want anyone to be envisioning me. It’s weird that that was still some wall between my shame. Like, I can say that happened, but I don’t need you to know anything that actually happened.”
Shepard said it took him “four months” to be able to tell the story in his memoir.
“And when I’m writing it, I cannot help but think of people knowing this about me and how still exposed that feels,” he admitted, adding that he was “emotional” during the months it took him to write the story.
“I was having really weird kind of spikes of emotions and moodiness. And I would forget that’s why I was having that,” Shepard added.
The Zathura star said he felt better once he finally finished that portion of the memoir, but the next challenge will be actually publishing the book.
“I finished it, and something about it existing there feels like a lot of weight is off my shoulders. But for me, there’s still the hurdle of, like, [putting the book out there],” he concluded.
Shepard first opened up about his experience in 2016.
“Yeah, I was molested,” he said on SiriusXM’s The Jason Ellis Show at the time, revealing that he was abused by an 18-year-old “dude in my neighborhood” when he was 7 years old.
Though Shepard called the molestation “minimal,” he added that it likely played a role in his struggles with addiction later in life.
“If you’ve been molested, you only have a 20 percent chance of not being an addict,” Shepard explained, noting that he thought his addiction was a result of heavy partying. “But when you hear a statistic like that, I’m like, ‘Oh, no, I was going to be an addict, period.’”
Shepard said it took him “12 years” to open up to someone about his experience.
“And then all that time, I was like, ‘It’s my fault,’ as generic as that is, I’m like, ‘It’s my fault. And I’m gay, I must have manifested this because I’m secretly gay.’ I had all these insane thoughts for 11 years or 12 years,” he continued.
Shepard’s wife, Kristen Bell, whom he married in 2013, exclusively told Us Weekly at the time why her husband decided to go public with his story.
“Well, in truth, he has dealt with it many, many years ago,” Bell, 45, said at the time. “It wasn’t a moment he revealed. It’s a lifestyle he lives, where he’s honest and brave. The entirety of the radio show, he was relating to the host who had a similar revelation, and they were communicating.”
Bell continued, “I think that, to me, is the more profound thing, that he does talk about it. Anytime someone can admit a vulnerability, and it can be helpful to others, it should be done when said person is ready. That emotion is maybe one of the most profound ones we have. I, particularly, I’m taken with vulnerability when you’re in any sort of conflict. If you come at the other person, come back to the other person with vulnerability, you can never lose. It always makes the situation better.”
If you or anyone you know has been sexually abused, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673). A trained staff member will provide confidential, judgment-free support as well as local resources to assist in healing, recovering and more.
