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There’s a whole corner of TikTok that you may or may not be aware of.
You may have caught a glimpse or you may frequent it — either way, you’re going to form an opinion about it.
It’s called #hoardertok.
But, before you begin to judge, I want to ask that you consider a new perspective.
“A perfect example of #hoardertok”
TikTok user, vmumofthree, has posted several videos in her journey to clean her home.
At first glance, it’s difficult to believe…but the issue is much deeper than what you see.
The mom shared a gallery of her struggle, but promises says she’s “cleaning her way to happiness.”
“I’ve always struggled keeping on top of everything, but this is by far the worst it’s ever been,” she wrote.
“I have zero support. I work full-time, I am a single mom of three and I have numerous mental health problems. How do I begin to fix this much mess?”
Despite this candid confession, many viewers still harshly judged the mom for “laziness.”
“Try to bring compassion”
As she scrubs the grime in the sink and bags the rubbish blanketing the floor, there’s one significant thing we all need to remember.
Undertaking such a task is a mammoth effort, but combating the mental health aspect is just as big.
Doctor Erika Penney is a clinical psychologist who says it’s crucial that we reserve judgment when we come across these videos online.
“It’s important to remember that no short video clip can really tell us what that person is going through,” Dr Penney told Kidspot.
“Try to bring compassion by considering how challenging someone’s life may be for their home to have reached this level of disarray.”
She says there’s the cleanliness of our surroundings can impact our mental wellbeing and how effectively we are able to parent.
“A very chaotic home environment has been linked to less effective discipline, more behavioral issues in children, challenges with attention and social cues, and less parent-child cooperation in some families,” Penney explains.
She says turning to TikTok for cleaning advice can potentially make matters worse.
“Try to remember that TikTok can be great for inspiration, but not comparison,” Penney stresses.
“This is NOT normal”
The comments on the mother of three’s videos only prove the stigma that persists around the genuine mental health issue:
“Please don’t tell me children live in this squalor.”
“CPS!”
“This is NOT normal or realistic! It is disgusting and laziness.”
But those with compassion offer encouragement.
“You can do this.”
“ I completely understand how mental health can force a pause on everything.”
For parents who are struggling to keep the house tidy, Dr. Penney says not to lose hope.
Dr. Penney’s tips for implementing an organized cleaning routine include:
- Prioritise non-negotiables (i.e., wiping away spills and food scraps) from their lower priorities (i.e., unfolded laundry).
- Try to invite the kids into the routine.
- Break up the organization into very small steps.
- Aim for “good enough” and not perfect.
She insists a level of disorganization is completely normal, but it’s important to seek help if it becomes too much.
“Your home can be somewhat messy and still healthy,” she says.
“If excessive clutter and mess, or the need for perfect levels of tidiness, are creating anxiety or overwhelm, speak with your GP about a referral to a psychologist to support you.”
