I went through menopause at 15 — I lived in shame for years

A woman who went through menopause at aged 15 says it left her with the “skeleton of a 75-year-old” and she would break bones while doing simple tasks.

Frankie Parker, 30, was diagnosed with premature ovarian insufficiency (POI) in April 2010 after not getting her period.

She suffered from frequent hot flashes, mood swings, a foggy memory, and lower estrogen levels.

This caused her to have osteopenia, or low bone mass, and meant she would break “multiple bones” by doing simple tasks.

Frankie and her roofer partner, Shawn Gowan, 31, attempted IVF treatment but have now been told she is no longer eligible and are considering adoption to have their dream family.

Frankie still suffers from the occasional brain fog and hot flushes and uses HRT patches to ease them.

Frankie, a relationships manager from Croydon, said: “I suffered with most menopause symptoms and lived for years with the embarrassment of my diagnosis.

“I just wanted to fit in and be like other girls my age.

“At the time, I never understood what was happening to my body, so I never spoke about it.

“I was at a roller disco event when I fell back and my shoulder shattered.

“The doctors said it was a complex break and that I had the skeleton of a 75-year-old.”

Having never had a period, Frankie was diagnosed with POI at St George’s Hospital, London, by an endocrinologist in April 2010 after blood tests aged 15.

She said: “I remember being embarrassed that my periods hadn’t started.

“But I also lived with just my dad, and it wasn’t something I was comfortable speaking about.

“It was extremely isolating.”

The teen suffered night sweats, brain fog, joint pain, hot flashes, and had low oestrogen – which led to low bone mass.

Frankie recalled how any mention of periods would drive her “out of rooms” and that she’d frequently break bones – including her shoulder and foot in two places.

She said: “It was difficult to explain to people.

“Anytime the topic came up, I wanted to leave the room.”

On top of her POI, Frankie’s other autoimmune disorders made treatment more difficult.

She struggled with Type 1 Diabetes, an underactive thyroid and, later, chronic kidney disease.

Doctors often blamed symptoms on other ailments –  and for years she was prescribed an HRT regimen that “failed” and “didn’t work” for her.

Frankie said: “Because of my age and other disorders, I was frequently palmed off by doctors.”

“I remember one nurse who said ‘omg your partner is a saint for staying with you for not having children’.

“It was devastating to hear for someone who had plans to start a family.”

But it never got the couple down, and in December 2019, she and Shawn began IVF treatment via egg donor.

“I was anxious going into it,” she said.

“I just wanted to be a mum.”

Despite initial approval from her general doctors, the fertility clinic denied her treatment due to being ‘high risk’, and she was referred to a menopause clinic due to concerns regarding her POI and hormonal health.

She was placed on a two-year waitlist, during which she wasn’t taking treatment and continued to have hot flashes and brain fog.

“I was told my kidneys would be too weak, and that I needed to improve my weight to carry,” she said.

“We hadn’t even gotten to choose an egg donor.

“Then lockdown happened.

“I was unaware I had to keep taking my medication, and my hot flashes started again; we had lost a lot of hope.”

In March 2024, Frankie finally had a consultation in the menopause clinic and was prescribed an HRT gel – after doctors were concerned about the POI increasing her risk of ovarian cancer and early-onset Alzheimer’s.

But eight months later, her menopausal symptoms worsened, leaving her in “complete denial” about her POI diagnosis.

“I did think that perhaps it wasn’t POI at all because my body wasn’t responding to the treatment,” she said.

“I thought it might have just been my underactive thyroid playing up.”

According to the NHS, symptoms of hypothyroidism are often similar to other conditions, including early menopause.

But it wasn’t until a follow-up appointment in November 2024 confirmed that it was indeed POI after further blood tests – and Frankie was prescribed HRT patches, “which seemed to work.”

Now post-menopausal, the 30-year-old uses HRT patches every day to help balance her hormones – but remains unviable for IVF treatment.

During that time, she and her partner have taken the time to welcome adoption as a possible option for parenthood.

“We’ve accepted that adoption will be the route we’ll go to,” Frankie said.

“But it’s an invasive and lengthy process, so for now we’ve paused our application.

“Our goals have changed, and we are taking the time to work on ourselves.”

Frankie is off to Thailand this May and is trying to relive her 20s.

“I am hopeful that one day, I will become a mother,” she added.