Corporate America’s lame attempts to dress up DEI is plainly laughable

It’s hard to not to laugh at all the lame attempts by corporate America to dress up its Diversity, Equity and Inclusion policies as something more palatable to the American people and the Trump administration.

And yet some of the nation’s biggest companies keep ­trying. 

DEI is a noxious orthodoxy that divides people by race and gender, then degrades merit over intersectionality metrics when making decisions on hiring and promotion.

Until recently, corporations embraced it as part of the great woke awakening I describe in my book “Go Woke Go Broke; The Inside Story of the Radicalization of Corporate America.” 

Most Americans hate this stuff because it’s patently unfair.

Consumers began boycotting brands that went there in ads and sales gimmicks.

It’s also on dubious legal grounds with Trump’s recent anti-DEI executive orders and a 2023 SCOTUS ruling ending affirmative action in college admissions. 

Now the business world is putting lipstick on this proverbial pig.

Whether this will work in appeasing Trump, their employees and rebellious consumers, I’ll save for another column. 

Meanwhile, let’s explore the DEI makeover and all of its illogical rationales.

I’ll start with BlackRock, the nation’s largest money management firm.

DEI was so ingrained in the corporate culture there that managers were literally threatened with lower pay if they didn’t meet diversity goals in hiring or promotions. 

Employees were subjected to diversity training that amounted to brainwashing.

The company’s 2022 DEI guide was replete with the ­awful lettering. 

Fast forward to today, and here’s where woke stands at BlackRock.

Its DEI guide has been rebranded.

It’s called “Together As One,” touting how the firm’s “inclusive orientation . . . helped to make BlackRock what it is today.” 

The acronym DEI makes plenty of appearances, but the words “Diversity, Equity and Inclusion” are rarely mentioned.

The notion of “Equity” or guaranteed outcomes is what led to hard-and-fast quotas in corporate America in recent years.

BlackRock now defines it as something more inclusive, “fair access to opportunities to advance, succeed, and be their best, authentic selves.” 

People at BlackRock also tell me the firm has achieved diversity goals at its portfolio companies, so no more DEI proselytizing there as well.

Controversial and woke Environmental Social Governance investing has been downgraded as a priority.

CEO Larry Fink won’t even mention the words in public. 

My sources say BlackRock is planning more watering down of its wokeness. 

I guess that will be real progress. 

Dimon still a fan 

At JPMorgan, the nation’s largest bank, CEO Jamie Dimon is a big fan of DEI.

It’s plastered all over the company’s website, which touts the stat that “58% of new US hires are racially or ethnically diverse.”

Dimon, famously, was photographed taking a knee when visiting a branch office during the social-justice riots after the death of George Floyd, seemingly in support of the radical Black Lives Matter movement. 

Yet people at the bank assure me the company has been weaning itself from the most far-reaching DEI interpretations.

Dimon ordered a ­review of DEI policies after the SCOTUS affirmative action decision to ensure that hiring quotas don’t exist.

The company seeks a diverse workforce that tries to match the racial and gender composition of the population in areas where it does business and then picks the best people.

There are no quotas. 

That’s when I brought up that 58% “diverse” hiring number, which obviously doesn’t match current US demographics and seems very quota-forward.

JPM’s explanation: It represents the population of urban areas where the bank’s branches are largely located; JPM hires lots of tech people who are often of Asian descent. 

But if JPM is unwoking itself, why does it still support a group called the Human Rights Campaign, a left-wing organization that keeps tabs of corporate fealty to DEI and worked to defeat Donald Trump in the 2024 election?

According to HRC’s website, JPM is a “platinum partner” and, I am told, provides funding. 

JPM officials say the big bank is now aware of the group’s leftist leanings and has not committed to whether it will fund HRC going forward.

They also assure me Dimon’s kneel in that 2020 photo was simply not to block the people ­behind him. 

Good to know. 

Then there’s Bank of America, the nation’s second largest bank, run by a CEO named Brian Moynihan, who can be pretty sickeningly woke when he wants to be.

During the social-justice riots, when the left wanted the American people to believe racial ­injustice is everywhere, Moynihan’s bank came up with a scary way to scare bigotry out of its employees. 

‘Racial Equity Challenge’ 

In early 2021, it partnered with the United Way. which created “A Racial Equity 21-Day Challenge,” a type of racial-sensitivity training teaching the finer points of critical race theory, including “intersectionality, white privilege, white fragility and systemic racism,” and how “white people have more limited imagination . . . [and] contribute to racial tension, hatred,and violence in our homes.” 

The challenge’s invitation was sent to all BofA staffers in its Charlotte, NC, hub, one of the bank’s largest employment centers.

It’s unclear how many people decided to challenge their inner racism, but when the idiotic spectacle was leaked to the media, management was so embarrassed that it decided no more challenges going forward. 

These days, a BofA flack concedes the bank’s DEI agenda is being reshaped to comport with current law and the mood of the country.

“We continually evaluate our programs in light of new laws, court decisions and, more recently, executive orders from the new administration,” he said in a statement. 

Wow, more progress.