Do you feel a sense of impending doom when your nipple is touched?
You’re not alone. And after conversation online drew attention to the phenomena, it now has a name: sad nipple syndrome.
It’s when the nipple gets brushed, by someone or something, and a wave of intense negative emotion washes over. Descriptions range from “the deepest pit in my stomach” to “deep and unexplainable overwhelming sadness and guilt” and even homesickness.
So why’s the nipple doing double duty as “the button of despair”? Three doctors spoke to The Post about what’s going on in the brain and body that might be responsible.
Sad nipples and D-MER
Sad nipple syndrome could be related to a well-known condition that affects women who are lactating.
“Some breastfeeding patients experience a sudden wave of sadness or despair right before their milk releases,” said Dr. Melissa Walsh, an OB-GYN and chief medical director at maternal health company SimpliFed. It’s “a condition called dysphoric milk ejection reflex, or D-MER.”
When milk releases, the brain triggers a surge of oxytocin, the hormone responsible for moving milk out of the breast.
Dopamine, known as a the body’s “feel-good” molecule, can drop sharply at the same moment. That dip in dopamine helps prolactin, the hormone that drives milk production, to increase.
“The nipple areola complex is one of the most neurologically dense structures on a woman’s body,” said Dr. Ari Hoschander, head plastic surgeon at Breast Reduction Surgeons of Long Island. “What [they’re] describing sounds like that dopamine drop hitting particularly hard.”
This can feel like a sudden wave of grief, guilt or dread, Walsh says, but will come on quickly and resolve just as fast as neurotransmitter levels restabilize.
This is a physiological reflex, not a psychological response, she emphasizes. It’s the brain responding to hormones released from a physical event, not a thought or memory. That’s what differentiates D-MER from postpartum depression or generalized anxiety, which are both persistent.
“Understanding that distinction matters enormously,” Walsh said. ” A person who doesn’t know [D-MER is a hormonal reflex] may interpret it as a sign that something is deeply wrong with her. Awareness can be simultaneously therapeutic.”
What about women who aren’t breast feeding?
Women who aren’t and have never breastfed are reporting remarkably similar feelings.
“That question deserves a clinical answer, and right now, the research simply hasn’t caught up to what women are already telling us,” Walsh said.
One study shows that oxytocin surges when the nipple is stimulated, even in non-lactating women.
“This raises a biologically plausible — though as yet unstudied — question about whether the same dopamine mechanism may be at play in women who have never breastfed,” Walsh said.
It’s also possible, in non-lactating women, that this is a psychological phenomenon.
Dr. Loren Rourke, a board-certified breast cancer surgeon and author of Real Talk, Real Hope: Breast Cancer Your Way, believes “the root of this nipple trigger is more likely related to stress levels, past experiences, individual neurological sensitivity, and hormonal influences rather than a direct nipple/breast stimulation causation.”
Others have floated anxiety related to body image or exposure to violence could be related too.
If negative feelings are getting in the way of daily life, Rourke suggests looking into cognitive behavioral therapy. This type of psychotherapy identifies triggers, like nipple stimulations, and helps manage associated thoughts and feelings.
