Without testosterone, Shannon Gonzalez insists she’d probably be divorced.
In 2021, her hair was falling out — and her libido was “in the toilet.” She had recently entered medically induced menopause, which unleashed a torrent of symptoms that rocked her career, strained her marriage and shook her sense of self.
“Who is this person? I don’t recognize her,” Gonzalez, now 48, remembers thinking. “I felt like a fish out of water, and I didn’t know how to rebuild everything I’d lost.”
It would take years for her to find the solution: testosterone, a hormone treatment that’s helping a growing number of women reignite their sex drives — among other benefits — despite not being approved by the Food and Drug Administration.
Hormonal havoc
Because of her BRCA2 gene mutation, Gonzalez has an increased risk for certain cancers. To reduce her risk, she underwent a hysterectomy and double mastectomy just months after giving birth to her youngest of three children.
The aftermath was brutal.
“My doctor for the hysterectomy was s–t,” Gonzalez, a certified nursing assistant from Oakley, California, said. “He didn’t prepare me for the hormonal challenges that I was going to face at all.”
The surgery thrust her into menopause as she juggled life with a newborn, two teenage children, a husband and a full-time job.
“I was at the bottom of the barrel,” Gonzalez said.
Brain fog made it hard to work, aches and pains slowed her down, sleep was a struggle and her motivation vanished. Hot flashes, night sweats and clumps of hair falling out by the handful made things worse.
“I really had to try to keep up with him in the bedroom. I just kind of went through the motions, thinking, ‘OK, maybe it’ll come back.’ “
Shannon Gonzalez
“I’m very vain. I love doing hair and makeup every single day,” Gonzalez said. “When I didn’t have that hair, it was a huge blow to my self esteem.”
She was also struggling in the bedroom, battling low libido and vaginal dryness. And due to other health issues, she was on two medications that are known to cause sexual dysfunction.
Sex had always been central to her marriage, so the sudden shift was jarring.
“I really had to try to keep up with him in the bedroom,” Gonzalez said. “I just kind of went through the motions, thinking, ‘OK, maybe it’ll come back.’ ”
But the tension between the couple grew. Her husband, Hector, felt like he was always pursuing her, while she struggled to meet him halfway.
“Don’t give up on me, I told him. Don’t stop trying,” Gonzalez pleaded.
Love, lust and low libido
Gonzalez’s experience is a common one during menopause, when many women face relationship challenges — and divorces rise, according to Massachusetts therapist Kimberly Solo.
“A lot of women just assume that part of their sexual identity is gone,” she told The Post. “Then I think it deteriorates their relationships because there’s no communication around it.”
Solo, 44, knows the struggle firsthand.
“Around the age of 41 I started to get really tired, my energy really changed,” she said. “Then I noticed my sex drive went down, and my ability to orgasm was really compromised.”
“I enjoy sex more and want to have sex more. It brought back that desire again.”
Kimberly Solo
In her practice, she’s seen how mismatched libidos can affect a relationship.
“If you’re not talking and just saying ‘no’ to your partner when they initiate sex, they can sometimes feel hurt or rejected and stop trying,” she explained. “That’s a cycle that feeds itself, and the next thing you know, it’s been a month, then six months, then a year.”
She credited open communication with keeping her marriage strong while she searched for a solution to reignite her desire in the bedroom.
Turning to testosterone
After extensive research, Solo approached her OB-GYN about taking testosterone. While often seen as a “male” hormone, women need it, too — albeit in smaller amounts.
“By midlife, many women have lost up to half of their natural testosterone,” said Joanna Strober, CEO and founder of Midi Health, a virtual clinic serving women with perimenopausal and menopausal symptoms.
“That decline shows up in ways women feel every day, like low energy, fatigue, brain fog, mood changes and even shifts in muscle and bone strength,” she continued.
Then there’s the impact on intimacy.
“When testosterone drops, libido often follows, and that can put real strain on relationships,” Strober said. “But it’s bigger than sex. It’s about how connected and confident you feel in your own body.”
Research suggests that restoring the hormone to premenopause levels can boost libido, mood, energy and strength. Yet federal regulators haven’t greenlit any testosterone products specifically for women, even though more than 30 are approved for men.
As a result, Solo’s doctor refused to prescribe testosterone, citing potential side effects, limited long-term safety data and the lack of FDA approval.
“I don’t believe she had bad intentions,” she said, “but I was incredibly frustrated.”
Cases like Solo’s aren’t unusual. Strober said that without FDA-approved testosterone treatments for women, many patients are forced to rely on off-label or compounded male formulations.
“That’s not ideal care,” Strober said. “It means women are getting products that were never designed for their physiology or dosing needs.”
“Now, instead of it always being one-sided with him climbing my tree, I’m climbing his.”
Shannon Gonzalez
That, in turn, raises the risk of side effects. At low doses, they’re rare, but in higher amounts, women taking testosterone may experience acne, hair loss, unwanted hair growth on the face, chest and back, voice deepening, mood changes and other issues.
Finding a solution
Not one to take “no” for an answer, Solo turned to Midi Health, which began to offer testosterone to women through a pilot program over a year ago and formally launched the service in October.
“We want to demystify testosterone,” Strober said. “If you’ve been struggling, there is a path forward, and you don’t have to do it alone.”
Midi’s clinician-led, precisely dosed topical cream for women is available through its network of providers and covered by major insurers. It is offered in 12 states, with plans for a nationwide rollout as regulations allow.
After a full evaluation and lab work, the company created a custom testosterone plan for Solo. Within six weeks, she started noticing results.
“I’m definitely not functioning energetically or sexually at the level I was in my 20s, but it’s certainly an improvement,” said Solo, now an unpaid Midi patient ambassador.
A year and a half later, she still experiences some menopausal symptoms but says the biggest benefit has been sexual.
“It was hard to even have an orgasm before, so now that I can, I enjoy sex more and want to have sex more,” said Solo, who has had no adverse reactions to the medication. “It brought back that desire again.”
Gonzalez’s turnaround
Gonzalez saw similar results. With testosterone injections, along with supplemental estrogen, progesterone and Addyi — a pill for women with low libido — she said her sex life has been reignited.
“Now, instead of it always being one-sided with him climbing my tree, I’m climbing his,” she said. “Sex a couple of times a month has turned into sex every other day, which is a normal, healthy, loving relationship for us.”
Gonzalez went through three telehealth companies to get her testosterone, including Midi, and now uses Morph Health & Wellness.
The medication has boosted her motivation, improved her sleep, eased aches and pains, and even reduced hot flashes and night sweats without any side effects.
“It has transformed my life,” Gonzalez said. “I feel stronger than I’ve ever felt. I feel more healthy than I’ve ever been.”
Looking back on her journey, she urged other women not to give up on themselves — or their sex lives.
“This is a temporary moment in time and this is going to pass,” Gonzalez said. “There is light at the end of the tunnel.”
