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Allie Hoffman’s “The Feels” mixer aims to foster deeper connections in modern dating in an unorthodox process that costs up to $200 per person.
At an event attended by USA Today on Oct. 22, Hoffman spoke about the state of modern dating and how she hopes her program, which she founded in 2022, can help people connect more easily with others.
“It feels so hard out there, and we’re really believing that it’s our fault,” Hoffman said. “I don’t believe that’s true. I think there’s some macro-level forces that are affecting us, that are creating what we’re in right now. And I’m here to unwind a lot of that.”
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Allie Hoffman described how modern dating has been hindered by capitalism, technology and pop culture. (iStock)
The process, which comes in different levels, involves participants being paired off throughout the room. The pair is then given a discussion prompt with topics ranging from “What do you do?” to “How do you show and receive affection?” to foster communication. Each conversation would end with some form of physical interaction such as a “finger trace,” an embrace or prolonged eye-contact.
The Level 1 event costs approximately $90 to $100 per person, while the Level 2 event, which includes a survey and more personalized matching, can cost up to approximately $200 per person.
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Hoffman argued at a Level 2 event in Los Angeles that capitalism, technology and pop culture have diminished interpersonal skills needed for dating and reduced relationships to transactional exchanges based on unrealistic expectations. She said that authentic connection is key to fixing the issue.
“The Feels” has participants pair off for intimate conversations and physical interactions. (iStock)
“It’s an act of real rebellion to choose to be really present with another being,” Hoffman said. “I’m really interested in how we can map paths back to that.”
Though her event is a response to the issues of modern dating, Hoffman said that she does not believe The Feels is intended to help people find “the one.” Instead, she hopes that people can use The Feels to practice emotional vulnerability with others.
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“For me, the dream is for people to take it off the mat and into the world. That they ask deeper, open questions. That they stop and be like, ‘I just want to positively reflect you.’ They stop and say, ‘Hey, can we just hold a hug a little bit longer?'” Hoffman said. “It’s not about meeting the love of your life. It’s about learning new tools.”
Hoffman said that finding a soul mate wasn’t the main focus of “The Feels.” (iStock)
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Digital reached out to The Feels for comment.
