Steve Burns, also known as Steve from Blue’s Clues, was well aware of the rumors he had died that circulated during his run on the show from 1996 to 2002 — and the speculation had lasting impact as the actor battled depression.
“My continued existence was an inconvenient truth, apparently,” Burns, 51, explained on the Thursday, May 1, episode of Rainn Wilson’s “Soul Boom” podcast. “That was something I would hear from people. ‘Oh, I thought you were dead. Didn’t you die?’ And when it persists for 10 years, it feels like a cultural preference … you start to feel like you’re supposed to be [dead].”
He continued, “I was in kind of the throes of this depression after I left the show. But what a lot of people don’t understand is that that during the show, the internet was beginning to internet and the world decided, or a large portion of the world decided, that I had died.”
The rumors ranged from Burns dying of a drug overdose to dying by suicide. Baseless as they were, Burns said they were “not what you want to hear when you’re severely clinically depressed.”
“But when a gazillion people you’ve never met tell you that you’re dead … It’s bad when you’re severely clinically depressed,” he added. “And there was nothing I could do about this rumor. I mean, Nickelodeon didn’t like it either.”
Burns added that some of his family members fell for the hoax, with his mom even calling him in tears once to make sure he was still alive. Ultimately, Burns felt powerless over the rumors. Even when he showed his face in public, people still thought he had died.
“So I would go on The Rosie O’Donnell Show and be like, ‘Hi. I’m still alive.’ I was on one talk show where I danced with Busta Rhymes, and people still thought I was [dead] like, what else do you have to do?” he said.
Burns also went into further detail on his depression, which resulted in him isolating from others and developing an alcohol addiction.
“I built a house in Brooklyn and never left it. I call it ‘the gray’ of my life,” he explained. “It was about 10 years where I did nothing but, like, drink couple of bottles of wine every night alone, watch MythBusters. … And just eat Pad Thai.”
He added, “I gained like 50 pounds. I was completely unrecognizable. I didn’t recognize me. And everyone thought I was dead. And eventually I started playing along. You know, that was the strategy. Was just … maybe I am.”
If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call or text 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org.
